Talk:USS Undine (1863)/GA1: Difference between revisions

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Nominator: Hog Farm (talk · contribs) 03:57, 18 October 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Reviewer: Dumelow (talk · contribs) 14:29, 18 October 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Happy to look at this one – Dumelow (talk) 14:29, 18 October 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Criteria: the prose is clear, concise, and understandable to an appropriately broad audience; spelling and grammar are correct; and it complies with the Manual of Style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation.

• “The cannons from the vessel were used as part of the defenses of Clifton while Undine was raised”

Presumably this is correct and refers to cannons, not the howitzers she was originally armed with? I know the article says her armament varied during her career and was not known throughout.

The naval howitzers of the day can be properly referred to as cannons, but I’ve rephrased this to avoid any potential confusion. Wenner provides that statement but doesn’t give any details – she was still armed with 24-pounder howitzers when she was captured so I wonder if the variance is in number of guns, rather than type. Hog Farm _Talk 01:04, 19 October 2025 (UTC)[reply]

• “although a contemporary newspaper report claimed that the two tinclads caused more friendly fire casualties than they inflicted on the Confederates”

Do we know which paper?

Yes, I’ve added this. Hog Farm _Talk 01:04, 19 October 2025 (UTC)[reply]

• “This transport was able to reach Undine, but shortly thereafter arrived another transport, J. W. Cheeseman.”

Might be an ENGVAR thing but this would read better to me as “This transport was able to reach Undine, but shortly thereafter another transport, J. W. Cheeseman, arrived.”

Done Hog Farm _Talk 01:04, 19 October 2025 (UTC)[reply]

• “While Confederate troops and the capture crew of J. W. Cheesman unloaded the transport”

Should this be “captured crew”?

You named her as “Cheeseman” is the previous sentences, which is correct? She is “Cheesman” again in the next paragraph

“Cheesman” is a typo; corrected at both usages. Hog Farm _Talk 01:04, 19 October 2025 (UTC)[reply]

• “Venus had got ahead of Undine, and after twenty minutes of fighting, the Confederate ran the transport aground and abandoned the ship, which was recaptured by the Union forces.”

Presumably this should be “Confederates” or “Confederate crew”?

Typo corrected. Hog Farm _Talk 01:04, 19 October 2025 (UTC)[reply]

• “Forrest and Undine reach Reynoldsburg Island, which was 3.5 miles (5.6 km) from Johnsonville, on November 3.”

“reached”

Corrected Hog Farm _Talk 01:04, 19 October 2025 (UTC)[reply]

• “Tawah’s commander ordered his boat to attack Undine twice, but the Confederate vessel was able to maneuver away back towards the Confederate batteries”

“ordered his boat to attack” reads strangely, “ordered his crew” perhaps or “attempted to attack”?

Rephrased Hog Farm _Talk 01:04, 19 October 2025 (UTC)[reply]

• “Gracey and the Confederate crew escape as Undine went up in flames.”

“escaped”

Corrected Hog Farm _Talk 01:04, 19 October 2025 (UTC)[reply]

• “Forrest’s troops opened on the Union defenses and depot at Johnsonville later that day, opening the Battle of Johnsonville”

“opened fire”, presumably?

Yes, corrected. Hog Farm _Talk 01:04, 19 October 2025 (UTC)[reply]

• “Key West and Tawah suffered severe damage, and the Union troops burned the two gunboats along with Elfin”

I think could do with a little explanation as to why, presumably they were worried they would be captured?

I’ve elaborated on this a bit. Hog Farm _Talk 01:04, 19 October 2025 (UTC)[reply]

• The last paragraph felt a little long, is there a natural point to break it into two?

Criteria: it contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline; reliable sources are cited inline. All content that could reasonably be challenged, except for plot summaries and that which summarizes cited content elsewhere in the article, must be cited no later than the end of the paragraph (or line if the content is not in prose); it contains no original research; and it contains no copyright violations or plagiarism.

• Sources all look to be reliable for the subject matter covered

• The lead and infobox contain only material stated in the article.

• Everything in the article is cited except for note a. It might be verging on WP:BLUE territory, but you could add a citation here.

• Limited in what I can spotcheck but here goes:

“at a cost of $35,600” checks out to Official Records 1921, p. 229.

“Assigned to the Mississippi River Squadron after commissioning, Undine served on the Mississippi River beginning in May 1864, operating between Natchez, Mississippi, and Fort Adams, Mississippi. She was reassigned and by July was operating on the Tennessee River.” checks out to Naval History and Heritage Command

“The convoy withdrew and reached Paducah, Kentucky on October 12” checks out to Naval History and Heritage Command

“Undine escorted the transport Anna on October 30 from Johnsonville to Sandy Island” checks out to Naval History and Heritage Command

• Limited in what I can check but there is no overly close paraphrasing from the sources I spotchecked and Earwig flags nothing of concern

Criteria: it addresses the main aspects of the topic; and it stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style).

• My only comment was that presumably we don’t know anything about her original namesake “Ben Gaylord”?

Criteria: it represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each.

• No issues found with NPOV

Criteria: it does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute.

• Article has recently been significantly expanded by the nominator, there is no evidence that he changes are controversial and previously had not been edited for three years

Criteria: media are tagged with their copyright statuses, and valid non-free use rationales are provided for non-free content; and media are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions.

• Presumably there are no known images of the vessel?
  • There’s a modern drawing in the Wenner article that was produced by a non-profit trying to raise the ship and Wooten includes a 1992 line drawing. I haven’t seen anything else and both of these images would still be under copyright. Hog Farm _Talk 01:04, 19 October 2025 (UTC)[reply]

@Dumelow: – Thank you for the review! I believe I have addressed everything as appropriate. Hog Farm _Talk 01:45, 19 October 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks, looks good and I am happy to pass this for GA – Dumelow (talk) 06:59, 19 October 2025 (UTC)[reply]