Talk:Cheyenne Mountain High School/GA1: Difference between revisions

:::::::If you find an error please let me know and I will fix it immediately. [[User:Tokeamour|Tokeamour]] ([[User talk:Tokeamour|talk]]) 23:47, 25 September 2025 (UTC)

:::::::If you find an error please let me know and I will fix it immediately. [[User:Tokeamour|Tokeamour]] ([[User talk:Tokeamour|talk]]) 23:47, 25 September 2025 (UTC)

::::::::I have fixed the formatting for the figure skaters. [[User:Bgsu98|<span style=”color:darkorange;”>”’Bgsu98”'</span>]] [[User talk:Bgsu98|<span style=”color:darkorange;”>(Talk)</span>]] 10:29, 28 September 2025 (UTC)

::::::::I have fixed the formatting for the figure skaters. [[User:Bgsu98|<span style=”color:darkorange;”>”’Bgsu98”'</span>]] [[User talk:Bgsu98|<span style=”color:darkorange;”>(Talk)</span>]] 10:29, 28 September 2025 (UTC)

:::::::::Understood, as I didn’t know what you meant, respectfully when you siad formating [[User:Tokeamour|Tokeamour]] ([[User talk:Tokeamour|talk]]) 19:04, 28 September 2025 (UTC)

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Nominator: Tokeamour (talk · contribs) 19:10, 20 September 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Reviewer: Bgsu98 (talk · contribs) 21:42, 20 September 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Hello… I will do this review. Bgsu98 (Talk) 21:42, 20 September 2025 (UTC)[reply]

GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria

1. Is it well written?

   A. The prose is clear and concise, and the spelling and grammar are correct:

   B. It complies with the manual of style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation:

2. Is it verifiable with no original research, as shown by a source spot-check?

   A. It contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline:

   B. Reliable sources are cited inline. All content that could reasonably be challenged, except for plot summaries and that which summarizes cited content elsewhere in the article, must be cited no later than the end of the paragraph (or line if the content is not in prose):

   C. It contains no original research:

   D. It contains no copyright violations nor plagiarism:

3. Is it broad in its coverage?

   A. It addresses the main aspects of the topic:

   B. It stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style):

4. Is it neutral?

   It represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each:

5. Is it stable?

   It does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute:

6. Is it illustrated, if possible, by images?

   A. Images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid non-free use rationales are provided for non-free content:

   B. Images are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions:

7. Overall:

   Pass or Fail:

Understood, the issues will be addressed immediately Tokeamour (talk) 22:38, 20 September 2025 (UTC)[reply]

@Bgsu98 Do you mind using the format “P” (paragraph) “S” (sentence) ? so for example PS1 would be first paragraph 1st sentence. Tokeamour (talk) 22:41, 20 September 2025 (UTC)[reply]

@Bgsu98 Errors fixed, please assess the format of the beginning of the list and I will continue formatting all of it, thanks. Tokeamour (talk) 23:00, 20 September 2025 (UTC)[reply]

That is better, but the names should be listed alphabetically by last name.In addition, if they are an Olympic or World Championship medalist, that can also be mentioned. For example:

Bgsu98 (Talk) 23:06, 20 September 2025 (UTC)[reply]

@Bgsu98 that was an issue already and there was a maintenance tag saying use surname Tokeamour (talk) 23:09, 20 September 2025 (UTC)[reply]

I understand and totally agree though. Tokeamour (talk) 23:10, 20 September 2025 (UTC)[reply]

I like the idea you have I will do that but for the alphabetical format it might be out of the conversation as I don’t have control over it. See maintenance tag in this link as it is not present as I have done what it requested https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Cheyenne_Mountain_High_School&oldid=1309958393, again I totally understand I’m just being bold. Tokeamour (talk) 23:14, 20 September 2025 (UTC)[reply]

YNothing in that maintenance tag says anything about how to alphabetize. The standard is to alphabetize persons by last name. Bgsu98 (Talk) 23:18, 20 September 2025 (UTC)[reply]

@Bgsu98 It does check source edit its invisible comment prior to my edits Tokeamour (talk) 23:25, 20 September 2025 (UTC)[reply]

You can ignore that invisible comment.Y Bgsu98 (Talk) 23:38, 20 September 2025 (UTC)[reply]

@Bgsu98 Understood, thanks for getting back! Tokeamour (talk) 23:43, 20 September 2025 (UTC)[reply]

@Bgsu98 Alphabetized list as required will do the same to pargraph Tokeamour (talk) 23:53, 20 September 2025 (UTC)[reply]

@Bgsu98 Complete with additional request (Jeremy Abbott, 2014 Olympic bronze medalistParagraph still not done. Tokeamour (talk) 00:22, 21 September 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Y You will want to remove those skaters from the paragraph above the list. You will also want to reformat those other paragraphs into lists. Bgsu98 (Talk) 00:26, 21 September 2025 (UTC)[reply]

@Bgsu98 Understood task will be done soon Tokeamour (talk) 00:31, 21 September 2025 (UTC)[reply]

@Bgsu98 Please check my progress Tokeamour (talk) 01:03, 21 September 2025 (UTC)[reply]

@Bgsu98 additional image inserted and will complete the next task when ready. Tokeamour (talk) 01:32, 21 September 2025 (UTC)[reply]

@Bgsu98 Addressed a total of four citations requested from the other rater as I had it independently rated by a wikiproject by prior to nomination, this should make it easier for you to. Tokeamour (talk) 18:50, 21 September 2025 (UTC)[reply]

@Bgsu98 User NeoGaze’s concerns have been addressed, who rated the article a day prior to nomination and your review. Tokeamour (talk) 19:13, 21 September 2025 (UTC)[reply]

User:Tokeamour: I have numerous comments and concerns. Article Quick Link: Cheyenne Mountain High School

Lead

Comment:_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

• You say the school “specializes” in “courses such as English, history, mathematics, and science.” Literally every high school in the U.S. offers courses in English, history, mathematics, and science. Unless there is something unique about their offerings, this sounds like just another typical high school.
• Recommend removing “entire” from “the entire district”.
• Recommend wikilinking equestrian.
• “Alumni” should not be capitalized unless it is the first word in the sentence.
• Remove “a total of” from “a total of one Medal of Honor recipient”.
• The citation for Lindstrom belongs in the alumni section toward the end of the article, not in the lead. Only include citations in the lead if they are for statements that do not appear later in the text.
• Rewrite “United States Olympic God Medalists” as “U.S. Olympic gold medalists”.
• How is the “International Championship of Whatever” a “national” competition? International-national
• “The Cheyenne Mountain High School has participated…” unless they have stopped participating.

History (Development)

Comment:_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

• Small numbers should be written out (ie. “one”, “three”, “nine”).
• “In 1876, the school had more families settling in the Colorado Territory, and District 12 constructed an additional 6 classrooms.” Recommend rewriting as “In 1876, as more families settled in the Colorado Territory, District 12 constructed an additional six classrooms.”
• * Change “and brought” to “bringing”.
• Change “during 1889” to “in 1889”.
• Change”would go underway” to “began”.
• “during which the trolley, still remained operations from downtown Colorado Springs, and later The Broadmoor, and the Broadmoor Golf Club, built by Spencer Penrose, and golf course architect Donald Ross, in 1918.” I literally have no idea what this is trying to say.
• change “During 1945” to “In 1945”.
• Change “the students increased…” to “the student population increased…”
• “During 1945, the students increased to around 200 allowing for opportunities in nature which the teachers incorporated into their daily education for their students.” Holy whiplash, Batman. The phrase that comes to mind when I read this sentence was post hoc ergo propter hoc. The two halves of the sentence do not go together. Why would taking classes outdoors depend on an increased student population? Also, this sentence is unsourced.

History (Mascot)

Comment:_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

• The Cheyenne Mountain Indian was the mascot, since the text goes on to explain that they’ve changed mascots. Also, find an appropriate wikilink for this particular tribe so the reader will know which tribe the mascot was based on.
• “High school” should not be capitalized unless it is part of the name of the school.
• Change “has been” to “had been”.
• Put a period after “controversy” and start a new sentence afterward, or rewrite to make the sentence flow better.
• “Limited due to the COVID−19 pandemic (2019–2023)…” Huh, what? What does this have to do with a protest?
• Recommend removing “taking place at night” from the end of the sentence.
• Capitalize “school board” as it is part of a proper noun.
• Capitalize “Native American” and supply an appropriate wikilink.
• Change “the traditional headdress” to “a traditional headdress” as there are more than one. Also recommend finding an appropriate wikilink so readers will know what type of headdress is being described.
• No source given for the $25,000 penalty.
• Make “red-tailed hawk” singular.

Comment:_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
 Article Quick Link: Cheyenne Mountain High School

Images have appropriate licenses and captions, but two images lack alt-text. Please add appropriate alt-text (MOS:ALTTEXT).

Comment:_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Enrolment… Enrollment

• First, it’s Enrollment. Y
• Recommend deleting “the student population annual enrolment being relatively stable.”
• Change “five school years” to “five years”.
• “five years since 2025” means 2030.There’s something wonky about this sentence.
• Recommend removing “at Cheyenne Mountain” from the second paragraph.

Awards

• Insert “of” after U.S. News & World Report.
• Lower-case High School Rankings.
• De-wikileak Colorado.

Curriculum

• Lower-case “social science”.
• How many units of phys ed?^{[further explanation needed]}
• Change “AP Language courses” to “language courses”.
• What is meant by “withdraw fail, withdraw pass”?

Article Quick Link: Cheyenne Mountain High School

Y Done @Bgsu98 Addressed Tokeamour (talk) 23:11, 22 September 2025 (UTC)[reply]

More edits to come! Tokeamour (talk) 23:14, 22 September 2025 (UTC)}}[reply]

Lead

• Remove this sentence: “The school has academic courses such as English, history, mathematics and science.” Literally every high school in the United States has this; it is nothing special.
• “Operated by the Cheyenne Mountain…”
• Recommend then merging the first two paragraphs.
• Recommend removing this sentence: “Major constructions and renovations were undertaken in 1874, 1876, 1962, and 2016.”
• Clarify “the children of ranchers” because ranchers themselves weren’t going to school.
• Recommend removing “known for its dairy farms” as it has no bearing.
• Recommend splitting this section – “Cheyenne Mountain has educated a Medal of Honor recipient, Floyd K. Lindstrom. Notable alumni include multiple U.S. Olympic gold medalists, and professional athletes, such as former NFL player Matt Darwin and MLB players Brandon McCarthy and Dave Mlicki.[10]” – and moving it to after the last paragraph.
• Then combine the second and third paragraphs as they both deal with extracurriculars and school recognitions. The new third paragraph will be about alumni. The lead will have only three paragraphs total.

History (Development)

• “…named after the Cheyenne Mountain”
• “The school hosted grades one through twelfth grade. But by 1890 the school year was expanded to about seven months.” — Recommend rewriting as “The school hosted grades one through twelfth. By 1890, the school year was expanded to about seven months.”
• Remove the years following Railway System.
• “In 1899, proposal and construction of a new school would begin due to the growing number of students.” — Recommend rewriting as “In 1899, construction of a new school began due to the growing number of students.” Also, this statement is unsourced.
• Recommend deleting this entire section: “In 1906, land was purchased that would become the site of Cheyenne Mountain Junior High, during which the trolley, part of the Colorado Springs and Interurban Railway System, still remained operations from downtown Colorado Springs. This later would become The Broadmoor Hotel, and the Broadmoor Golf Club, built by Spencer Penrose, and the golf course by architect Donald Ross, after the end of the trolleys operations.[15][16]” as it has nothing to do with the high school.

History (Mascot)

• You don’t need to continue repeating “Cheyenne Mountain School Board” over and over. After the first use, simply use “school board” instead.
• “On July 7, 2021, the Cheyenne Mountain School Board changed the mascot to the red-tailed hawk.” — Recommend rewriting as “On July 7, 2021, the school board adopted the red-tailed hawk as the new mascot.”

If you have things ready, throw it at me! Tokeamour (talk) 22:52, 23 September 2025 (UTC)[reply]

If you find an error please let me know and I will fix it immediately. Tokeamour (talk) 23:47, 25 September 2025 (UTC)[reply]

I have fixed the formatting for the figure skaters. Bgsu98 (Talk) 10:29, 28 September 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Understood, as I didn’t know what you meant, respectfully when you siad formating Tokeamour (talk) 19:04, 28 September 2025 (UTC)[reply]