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Latest revision as of 03:35, 11 December 2025
The following is an essay in the userspace of a person who probably should not be trusted with the “edit” button. It reflects the author’s opinions, questionable life choices, and deep philosophical commitment to procrastination. It is not a policy, guideline, or even particularly helpful. But it is here anyway, because Wikipedia lets people do that.
Introduction: Why this exists (SPOILER: nobody knows)
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Some say great essays arise from profound intellectual struggle. Others say they arise from sleepless nights and too much coffee. This one, however, arises from something far more powerful:
Boredom mixed with a misplaced sense of responsibility.
This essay aims to explore nothing, explain nothing, and contribute nothing to the sum of all human knowledge— but in a way that is very amusing to the author, and hopefully mildly entertaining to innocent bystanders.
Section 1: The Philosophy to Editing
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Editing Wikipedia is like trying to fold a fitted sheet:
- You think you know what you’re doing (you don’t)
- You pretend everything is under control
- And in the end you just ball it up and shove it somewhere no one would think look.
The only difference is that on Wikipedia, someone will look. And then they’ll leave a note on your talk page explaining that your edits do not adhere to the standards established by the 2008 ArbCom case about something extremely obscure.
Section 2: Talk Pages—Where Diplomacy Goes to Die
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Talk pages are wonderful places full of:
- And absolutely none of those things, ever
Instead, you will find:
- People politely accusing each other of historical inaccuracy
- Thread titles such as “Why did you do this???”
- Entire comment chains that are longer than the article itself
If Wikipedia ever collapses, it will not be from lack of editors.
It will be from someone finally reading a talk page argument from 2012 in its entirety and losing the will to continue.
